i had a dream that i still missed tyler. and that i saw him. and met megan. and still missed him.

i hate dreams.

so i didnt talk to jerami at all yesterday which was very unusual... we usually text back and forth and i didnt hear from him at all yesterday, or today for that matter... which kind of makes me wonder if something happened? but we we cool the last time we talked...

im trying my best not to text him as to not be that girl who is crazy, you know what i mean? but it's after midnight and i'm getting pretty bored cause i didn't do anything tonight.. i had tentatively fuzzy plans with a friend to go out for drinks, but we bailed on each other (she had a headache, and i was tired)... so i stayed home.

and i twisted my knee earlier this week, and of course... i fell after i twisted it, so now i have this huuuuuuuuuuuuge bruise on it and it hurts. it's not too bad til i hit it against something, which of course, i do ALL the time. and hobbling around the hospital for the past few nights hasnt been much fun either. i guess if it's not much better by like monday, then i need to hobble on over to the doctor and see what they think. i hate going to the doctor though.

tomorrow is dvd and pizza night at christine's, and i think my friend tom is going to come with us. of course last weekend, we just ended up playing super nintendo cause the guys bailed on us. i lost sad face. and then after that i went to jerami's... but i've still been good, i promise, i've only kissed him.

however, i think i hate the fact that i like him. why do i always fall for the guys that have issues? i think it's because i have a save the world complex. sigh...

havent seen the cute guy from the elevator in the hospital anymore... i saw him... wednesday night i think. next time i see him im getting his name and number. or at least, im going to try. there was a new guy at work last night, he was pretty cute too, and he doesnt actually work WITH me.. he was just up there for the night. he does the same thing we do, works for the same people, but he works in a different lab thats like an hour away.

theres no one online to talk to and its only 1222... usually i spend my weekends talking to jerami.

some of us from work are getting together and having a grammy party sunday night.

is it weird that i miss jerami? ugh, what is WRONG with me?

i posted this poem in my blog on myspace and made it private because it was my way of getting out exactly what i was thinking without that person reading it (because i knew they would)... and then i wrote another one, which says basically the same thing as this one but in a less overtly obvious way so that the person could read it and not really realize what i was talking about.... but i wanted jamie to be able to read the real one so im posting it here for her benefit (and since the person wont read it here)...



for you or for me?

so a few days ago
when i went over to your house
to watch movies
i never expected
to be caught up in it all...

it's been awhile
since i really remember
feeling like this
all goofy inside
and kind of missing you.

it's the strangest thing
because i feel as though
i know you
even though i guess
i really don't.

and i hate to think
it's just me
feeling this way
by myself
and you're not.

but i can't really tell
the difference anymore
between what thoughts
are mine and
what thoughts are yours.

are they the same
or are they different?

was the kiss for me
or for you
or for both of us?

did you feel it?
or am i imagining things?

HI!